<[MisterQuizZ]> Le Quizz continue dans 15 secondes ... !kick Xr --- Vous avez été kické de #gta par MacreaBot (Pafffff !) --- Déconnecté (). --- Xr définit le mode +w Xr --- Xr définit le mode +x Xr --> Vous parlez maintenant sur #gta --- Le sujet de #gta est Gta Macreators - Official Chan --- Sujet de #gta défini par bboy_awayyy à Mon Apr 19 15:33:01 lol <[MisterQuizZ]> Second indice : lomé 30 secondes et plus que 10 point(s) à attribuer ^^ lomé <[MisterQuizZ]> Correct, Xr! Tu as donné la bonne réponse -> lomé <- en 17.688 seconde(s), et tu gagnes 10 point(s) <[MisterQuizZ]> Xr, tu as donné 3 bonne(s) réponse(s) d'affilée! Ton total de points est de 333 cette semaine, et de 333 pour le mois entier. --- bboy_awayyy donne le statut operator de canal à Xr ptdr -- Sans la question, hoplà % c'est naze tu sais pas mettre deux moniteurs lcd j'ai mis un catalytique aussi je crois cathodique -- Nouveau, les moniteurs non poluants % ça me les ronge quand c'est trop script euh... strict % mais pkoi tu pense à l'inviter ? errrrr Xr Bad ne pense pas. ça explique bien des choses % ben hum j'ai install win 2000 jusque là pas de pb(je vous passe les 3 jours de galère avant mdr) et depuis genre 1 reboot, ou 2 : je mets 5 minutes chrono à ouvrir une fenêtre explorer Installe Linux Installe pas Linux là c'est juste pour faire réagir Luk lol et ça marche (ptdr) (j'en pleurerai presque de rire tellement je t'ai pas senti venir lol) % je suis sauvé -- Sasser.EXE fait des ravages % c'est bizarre des fois mon pc il fait pas de bruit dévisse un ventilo pour que l'axe soit foireux, en frottant sur ton GPU, ça fera du bruit et te relaxera -- Qu'est-ce qu'il faut pas entendre % question... réponse t'en as une autre ? % [...] ce qui lui a valu d'être mondialement connu en France. -- Entendu sur TF1 % Sur cette photo, il y a Heisenberg, mais je ne sais pas bien où il est. -- Mme Jaminon, professeur à l'ULg % c'est bien avec toi on a le temps de se taper un film entre tes réponses :p % ;op clair -- o.rly? % when will you graphicwhores finally see that farcry isn't a great game... and it's certainly not a clasic like doom, Quake1 and UT (2004) -- Captain_anarchy from Atari forums. % -=AFK=- I"m not here right now, if you"d like to reach me on my cell phone, buy me a cell phone % xheliox: Did you see that NASCAR has started a literacy program? linenoyz: no xheliox: Isn't that like using the KKK to promote civil rights? % So there I was waiting for my g/f, when I get a message from some chick wanting to cyber with me. yeah... I told her cybering is for losers and I didnt want to. So she tells me to tell her what to do with her pussy. I tell her to wash it, and she just quits talking. LMFAO! % so this guy comes to the door a jehovah's witness and he's like "can i interest you in the word of christ" and adam's like "sorry i have to shut the door" and the guy goes why? and adam's like "our sacrificial goat will get out" % it's funny, when I tell someone I'm an insomniac they almost always say "that's odd, I fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow" which is odd becuase I don't go around telling blind people "that's odd because I can see perfectly" % <@Methical> did anyone else hear about the new dual-proc board for low-end AMD processors? it's optimized for playing 80's mp3's. <@Methical> They call it the Duron-Duron. % hmm ctfmon.exe no jamaicans capturing any flags on my computer that i know of % Packy: Or give it wings, a shield generator, and let it drop mini-redeemers! Ooooh, and add a spoiler! And neon lighting!! -- talking about tweaks for the AltRedeemer2 on Atari Forums % SI TU PARLES DE MOI ET QUE TU CROIS T ETRE TROMPE DE FENETRE BAD JE VAIS T ENCULER bad c'est la chance de ta vie pour te faire LuK, la loupe pas % moui ecrit mieux ses deja ca % Du cote de monaco, il y a des banderolles de tous les coins de la france : l'alsace, les ardennes, la tunisie... -- Thierry Roland, finale de la ligue des champions % ive been programming and using computers since my old days in the womb. umbilical ethernet how fast do you get on it? I'd imagine at least 1gigabit/s actually quite slow. network was flooded with protein and nutrient packets. LOL... "Daddy once DoSed my connection..." ok im ending it right there. % pk stef est parti? parce qu'il avait faim i reviendra? s'il s'arrete de manger % c'est quoi ? MTV quelle émission ? d'la marde je dirais logique % Saying that Java is nice because it works on all OS's is like saying that anal sex is nice because it works on all genders % I swear to god I've just heard a duck tell a joke o...k there was as group of ducks on a pond near where i live one of the ducks was quacking away looking straight at a group of like 10 ducks then he stopped and all the other ducks went mental it looked just like duck stand-up comedy % so my dad found my porn folder and he was getting all pissed so its all like "does this surprise you? i'm not stupid you know" "i know dad" "what do you have to say for yourself?" at this point i stare at him straight in the eyes and say "C:\Documents and Settings\Ricky\My Documents\faxes\sent faxes" and he just shut up what is it? its his porn folder % <+lisa`> well, sometimes, when the moon is right i like to print out the source code to the Linux kernel, scatter them on the floor, lube myself up and roll around in the printed code. % whatcha doin man moping cause i have no life, you? just opened like 50 starburst gonna see how many i can put in my mouth at once =D well shit. i feel better already % d-_-b how u make that inverted b? wait never mind % Xr:vim powa !!! et puis je fais aussi de la zik sous vim moi d'abord wé et moi je fais des signaux de fumée avec netcat % Si les femmes comprenaient les hommes, elles seraient toutes lesbiennes depuis longtemps % ça vient de Xavier, ton pseudo ? Non, moi c'est Janine, caissier transexuel chez Prisu, mais j'ai mis X majuscule parce que c'est commercial et r parce que p était pris, le q ça le faisait pas et juste après, y'a r. Plus sérieusement, c'est effectivement Xavier % mon PC rame tellement avec toute les merde que j'ai desidé de le formater mais je n'y arrive pas, expliquer moi s'il vous plait Tout supprimer Cluster par cluster sous dos -- Belle discu technique sur les forums Macreators. % i want a bf i am lame and desperit desperate no desperit from the latin wtf deperitus meaning easy % surtout que moi j'ai dieu le père, et le saint esprit derrière moi et tas pas le fils ? ça sonne occupé il a pas les mains libres ^^ % If you give a man a fire, he is warm for the night, but if you set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life % The game will be hard at work loading, so I grab War and Peace and start reading to pass the time. By the time I get to about page 150, I realize that something has gone amiss. -- UT2k4 doesn't load % Roses are red violets are blue your just mad because i fragged you % it's damned annoying to be playing and someone on your team goes "mumble mumble mumble", and then later you hear them again in a panicked tone "MUMBLE MUMBLE MUMBLE!!!!" -- Voice Chat on UT2k4 % doery: yea like el, but yours is a X on my screen Elipsis: [screenshot]url[/screenshot] doery: /broken img link/ also have UT2k4 on it Elipsis: ahhh yes, a much bigger red X, well done -- Posting pics on Atari Forums % - Hi, I'm Zach - Hi, I'm miserable -- From Seinfield sitcom % EndOfForever: So, how do you like being a jew? AvatarOfPirate: It's ok. EndOfForever: What's speaking hebrew like? AvatarOfPirate: It's ok. It's hard to read though. There aren't any vowels expressed in it. You have to.. sort of figure it out. It's like... EndOfForever: Talking to people on AOL? % <}813-Error{> i ask a question in #perl and get RTFM and they go back to talking about metallica... <}813-Error{> d Match digit character same here :/ ask in #metallica % Capitalization is the difference between "I had to help my uncle Jack off a horse.." and "I had to help my uncle jack off a horse.." % *** Zeron is now known as you * you farted. * you sigh in frustration. * you lose * you suck at life *** Wildfyre is now known as our * Goblin_Leecher thinks you need a life * our conversation is entirely too weird *** Goblin_Leecher is now known as we * we are going stir crazy * you are going a little too far * our laughter fills the offices nearby. * you are fired. * we need new jobs * you agree * you wonder when this madness will end * we are not sane * you are correct * our sanity has left? you know...if a sane person were to walk in here...they'd be very very confused right about now... * you are one with the matrix. % Alh4zred : You know, I realized something. GenduShini : You love me? Alh4zred : I'd rather play games than have sex, you know why? Alh4zred : Think about it. Alh4zred : During sex, you have to please TWO people. Alh4zred : Or more. GenduShini : because Games last more than 10 minutes GenduShini : err GenduShini : that too Alh4zred : AND Alh4zred : In a game, if you're not doing well, someone just goes "fgt" or something GenduShini : and you just go "my current PC sucks" or "It's an off day" GenduShini : But in the sack... Alh4zred : In real life, you have some chick (in my case) that goes "Are you a faggot? That sucked" Alh4zred : You can't blame a bad orgasm on lag. Alh4zred : Dude. Alh4zred : You can't. Alh4zred : "I faked all those orgasms" Alh4zred : "stfu i was pinging 300" % * Ksu eats a bowl of crappy generic macaroni * SSL_Eefui idly drinks arsnic. * Nigelenki stops fui o.o arsenic isn't edible o.o;; Yes, it is But only once % >>> un bidouilleur qui passe ses nuits à modifier regedit, Ca s'appelle un dévelopeur Windows. Si tu parles de qqun qui utilise regedit, par contre c'est un Windowsien. >>>à overclocker juqu'à la limite de la désence, Ca s'appelle un gamer. >>>à travailler sur son UC avec un fer a souder dans la main gauche >>>et un chalumeau dans la main droite... Si c'est pour "tuner" sa tour, ça s'appelle un Rony (ou un gamer qui fait des LAN, c'est presque pareil). Si c'est pour underclocker (avec un fer à souder et un chalumeau ? 0_o) ça s'appelle un geek (ou un nerd, ça dépend). Si c'est pour bidouiller l'électronique d'une autre façon, ça s'appelle un hacker. Si c'est pour découper la machine, ça s'appelle un ferailleur. -- Krunch se déchaîne % wtf is a palindrome no its not dude % Question: Are you (to everyone) left or right handed? Yes - we all are. There's not a vast range of other options. % Mortaneous> Lyme... idiots of that caliber still exist Mortaneous> I thought Darwinian evolution woulda killed em off the first time they attacked the toaster with a knife for eating their bread % "Quake traps children in Italy school, 3 die" Something needs to be done about those violent video games! % (@iRlaN^) can someone tell me some good bf ip's thanks (+gig) ? (@Nick^) he means bf1942, not boyfriends (@Nick^) boyfriends dont have ips (@Nick^) man that'd be leet (@Nick^) have a girlfriend scanner (@Nick^) like an ip scanner (@Nick^) select the filters and click refresh (@Nick^) then take your pick (+gig) you need to get out more dude % hasbro should make a 9/11-tribute jenga twin-pack % Im such a perfectist *pefettionist *perfectonst God dammit! perfrecsist OKAY! I give up! Why? perfectionist is easy to spell..? How did you do that?! % anyone using or have an imac? * macker looks over at the door nope, they replaced the door-stop with a real one... % ROTFBMALFO! Rolling On The Floor Because My Artificial Limbs Fell Off % [n] Join [sam]-[sam@sam.name] has joined #0secadmin uhh sam, who are you and who gave you the key? i am sam and i didnt need a key :-) hmm.. this is a private channel, please fuck off. :) [n] Mode [m0zzie]-[+b *!*sam@sam.name] m0z, meet sam, the server admin :/ oh fuck. [n] Mode [m0zzie]-[-b *!*sam@sam.name] me love you long time? :> % In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their penisses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship. % <+Velcant> My dad just wandered off to buy 50 meters of wireless LAN cable. Good luck to him. % These Christian rock ads on tv are so pathetic Its like they assume people are going to suddenly think "OMG! JESUS! I never knew! % Ah...a dark room, approximately 25 computers, Debian ISOs for six platforms, and two hundred and four CD-Rs. It's going to be a wiiiild night. Only you would consider that a wild night, Calc. Not only Calc. DR: You'd be *amazed* at what happens if you grind up TDK CD-Rs and sniff them. You get fiberglass in your lungs and lose 10 years to your life? Well, that too... % i want a cow bell that makes a cow noise when i hit it it will go "COW" cows go moo % <^wigus> fuck me now? <^wigus> its up to you k * DJ_Random looks up his book on how to "cyber" asl??? % I just caught my 15 year old girl, masturbating with a vibrating 'control pad' on a Nintendo Gamecube. Now I am banning this vibrator from my household, but I am concerned about other teenagers who are using these products as masturbation aids. % check out what i put on e-bay oh god are you trying to sell your sister again i keep telling you its illegal % Not a single original thought in my mind... *sigh* I should write a book: And sell it as a notepad? % anyone know where to get a texture map of the planet earth, neptune and uranus? heh, texture map of uranus... * mikesch dies. % Hah! I love slashdot sometimes. You know the old manta "Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity?" Someone replied to it "If you know of a better way to make more virgins, I'd like to hear it." % Theres an advert in MSN Messenger: "Buy your winning lottery ticket here" I reckon thats false advertising I should buy one then sue them when I loose I can represent you in court I got my law degree online % Big Boss : Est-ce que les deux ordinateurs sont proches ? $fimx : sa dépend la longueure de ton cable réseau % Big Boss : Non pour mettre deux ordis en réseau ! $fimx : h mais vi jcrois que tu peux t'as des espece d'ambou de tuyaus d'arrosage pour en metrew 2 ou 3 Max. % $fimx : Un conseil chez sa chez moi, faut pas avoir de coupure de courant assez souvent car sa remet par défaut ton hub et donc ya TOUT je dit bien tout qui plante Xr : Comment tu veux que ça plante si tes PCs sont coupés ? % [après avoir lu un topic complètement débile sur les LANs] c'est pas la question de sanctionner, j'ai la sombre impression que des gens vont nous faire part de leur incapacité à faire fonctionner leur réseau local avec une corde à linge branchée dans les lecteurs de disquettes la pince à linge v2.0 mdr la 3.0 est toujours en beta test mais est plug-and-play % I think the last place I would like to be beamed is 'Up scotty'. % let's play pong | . pong just go like " .| no :( SORRY THIS IS A SIMULATION AND IS NOT ALLOWED X-O ? (MAME reference) oh let's play arkanoid then OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO . ______ % * maria pokes lisa * maria pokes steven * maria pokes dana * dana deflates hmm * dana pbfbpfpbpfbf's around the room * maria connects dana to an air pump * dana recomposes % Bad, tu es le boulet du jour. Ton combat de ce soir t'opposera à... * stefinou a rejoint la conversation. % copernicus, les monologues tu les fait sur ton blocnote stp % Cainslair : Why do the Hot chicks prefer CTF to ONS?? headrift : It's all about sex, really. In CTF, you've got to go grab a flag (on a pole, incidentally), play around with it, and then stick it into your base, thereby scoring. In contrast, an ONS game is an exercise in building nodes along a path. Your ability to choose the correct path and build nodes along it is what gets you access to the base, and eventually score. So... scoring in CTF is somewhat parallel to bringing a man to orgasm, and ONS is more like doing the same for woman. Thus CTF will seem more natural to most females. DrSiN : The real reason is because I play CTF and they all want to meet me. They used to play DM to meet Cliffy but now that he's constantly on TV, they don't need their fix anymore. -- Atari UT2kx Forums % Progress (n.): The process through which the Internet has evolved from smart people in front of dumb terminals to dumb people in front of smart terminals. % I hate it when H-manga's try to be philosophical Mehh. "As I lay there, with the cum flowing out of every hole, my schoolgirl vagina stretched beyond its natural limit by a twenty-limbed tentacle demon, I wondered 'What is the stars, what is the stars?'" % they are poo :) but hten they are not poo so they are poo and not poo AT THE SAME TIME!! quantum poo % <+Fastolfe> or do a googel[1] search for "perl windows" <+Fastolfe> [1] oops, typo, meant google <+wog> Ooo. I should get in the habit of footnoting my typos like that. <+Azhrarn> hah % <[LH]Georg> PAIN LEADS TO ANGER. AND ANGER LEADS TO CAPS LOCK. AND CAPS LOCK LEADS TO REVOLTING PEOPLE IN AN IRC CHANNEL. % * Locke is listening to Nsync - Tearin' Up My Heart ... time to turn the plug-in off % you can download the human genome tommorow http://www.newscientist.com/news/news.jsp?id=ns99993621 and what the hell will i do with it? compile the source % Mort_Q : I learned how to do it in U2XMP, but I've never wanted to in UT2k4. How do you kick griefers (assuming kick vote is enabled) !? Venael[FatZ] : Swing back a leg, left or right, it doesn't matter. Then bring it forward in a continuous preferrably hastey motion, until the assortment of boney protrusions in your foot connects cleanly with the collection of dangly objects in his trousers. -- Atari Forums % The Necris aren't anything close to the originals. They look like goth geeks. -- Loric about ECE % Sfimx : alors recycle ton ordinateur c une source de pollution pour les animaux grounch : Ha bon? % From the English Law: A welshman seen carrying goods which he intends to sell over the english/welsh border is legally allowed to be shot with a WOODEN crossbow. % Une étude récente a prouve que meme avec une oreillette, il est dangereux de conduire au volant. -- Entendu à la radio % pourquoi tu flood en public ? tu peux pas ouvrir un bloc notes et flooder dedans ? % * badboy sifflote oué j'allais te proposer badboy, tu tombes bien, mid allait te proposer de sifflotter % I'm beginning to wonder if Sauron made a forum when he made that ring. And it was administered by elves, the fairest of all races, the dwarfes were moderators, and the rank of newbie was given to men who above all else desire power % Emacs is a nice OS, but it lacks a decent text editor % abortion should be mandatory if the child possesses the goth gene. and how do we know what the goth gene is, you ask? it's the one that's all robed in black and writing bad poetry. "Here I sit / trapped in my double-helix cell / polymerase taunts me with every mitosis / I want to die." % I'm passing judgement on FF8 because I dont like the fucking eye candy. Too many damn graphics too .. many .. damn .. graphics .. ?" what the fuck do you want, pong? "Fight! White Paddle hits Red Paddle for 4 HP!" % my mom is bigger than your mom wait no other way around % ugh I. Am. Wet. infact I am BEYOND wet I am soaked no wait, I am beyond soaked I am drenched and I may be beyond that *** Ephialtes has been kicked off channel #ev3 by zambezi (flood) % if someone insults canada the best thing u can say is atleast im not french-canadian :. <[HI]Widget> lol what if you're french-canadian? then you suck % > Passe-t-il bien sous IE6 ? NON ! J'en sens déja qui vont dire : oui > mais IE6 il est pas standard, patati patata. le jour ou un couillon fait des roues crantées sur toutes ses voitures, tu fais des créneaux dans toutes les routes? -- B. franck dans un commentaire sur DLFP % "One World, One Web, One Program" - Microsoft Promotional Ad "Ein Volk, Ein Reich, Ein Fuhrer" - Adolf Hitler % You can watch for your administrator to install the latest kernel with watch uname -r (Just kidding) -- $ man 1 watch % If Python is executable pseudocode, then Perl is executable line noise. -- on cliffort.at % Calvin : A l'image de Dieu, oui monsieur ! Hobbes : Dieu doit avoir un drole de sens de l'humour % As long as we get about 6 "UT2k4 is dead" threads every week; it is alive..." -- fuegerstef % haven't you heard the phrase 'big is beautiful'? i've heard the phrase 'fat is repulsive' % lol i just got the rot password to the linux machine running the network im on you mean root pass? yea whatever its called do u know some cool commands like to hack ppl try this one.. rm -rf /etc rofl that one just paused for ages and came up with a few forbidden msgs got any better ones? hmm.. try rm -rf /root that one just paused for a bit again, dont u know any to really hack someone? lol ugh, ok I guess you're gonna keep harrassing us until we tell you how to hack people aren't you? yep ok do this exactly without the quotes: "rm -rf /home" then do "shutdown -h now" k sweet man thx!! [n] Quit [murder`]-[Read error: Connection reset by peer] I'm a bastard. % here's soemthing really mean to do to a random fat person on the street: if you're approaching them from the front, as you get near, start drifting towards them, going "woooaaaH' then start circling around them, screaming "I CANT BREAK ORBIT, CAPTAIN!!" % what this "uber" you see so often? uber - german for over or above I know that I'm german but you write it ü über how appropriate. a german being a spelling nazi :P % Instinct is a kickass movie Basic? wataru: no.. pervert Pervert Instinct? % [+miles] okay, two irish guys are walking down this street, right...okay they see this sign that says: "Tree Fellers Wanted" and they go, "oh blast, its a pity theres only the two of us" % Why are you hosting on port 666? just for the hell of it % squoibymox : Today I decided to have some fun trolling a DM server. [explains how he own3d everybody...] LooZeR : Yesterday, I scored four goals, then held the flag in front of the enemy base, refusing to let go or die... I finally capped the final point when I went Wicked Sick. NiTrOcALyPsE : Last week, I emptied an entire 32 person server by dressing up in a fursuit and trying to start a furpile. Logy : Yesterday I joined a server and annihilated everybody with nothing by my X-TREME ATTITUDE! Some players got so angry, they spontaneously combusted! -- Atari Forums % Gérard : La lentille s'emballe sur le disque mère % When you kill 6 people in Unreal Tournament it's a "Monster Kill", in Quake3 it's "Excellent", and in Counter-Strike it's "Kick Banned" % <+NiTrOcALyPsE> Wait, what the ****? Pasta and Italy are like Counterstrike and noobs. <@[SCB]Turbidity> I'm going sig that ****. <+NiTrOcALyPsE> Finally, a sig that doesn't have to do with me posing as a furry. % Largo : What are you capable of that you are most proud?? What are your L33T skillz ?? Student 1 : I have over 350 people on my "buddies" list! Student 2 : I obsessively collect and watch american sitcoms!! Student 3 : I... I can build disturbingly realistic models of WWII era aircraft -- MegaTokyo % bart : depuis que je peind des warhammers je n'ai jamais utilisé de sous couche ça sert à quoi? ptilu : La sous-couche est indispensable! [...] bart : on la met après avoir peind? % Homicidal : i was just wondering if there is a model the exact shape of the UT2004 hitbox reigon? EvilDrWong : why would anyone want to play as a cylinder? % PlaysLikeAGirl : I've been called gay so many times while playing it's starting to make me wonder if it's a proposition rather than an insult. Just because I keep killing you or running you over/off the road doesn't have anything to do with my sexual alignment/orientation/whatever it's called these days. senshu : Maybe if you didn't play like such a girl... % Carinae : [Poll] What is the most over-used and/or annoying word in UT lingo? * Noob * Leet * Gay * Haxor * LOL * Hypothesis Phen : wtf hypothesis ... Carinae : Yeah, WTF would've been a better option than hypothesis :p % [Après avoir vu un japonais jouer Mario Bros au piano] mais quand tu vois la partition de mario, je préfère Mozart, c'est plus simple à jouer % Originally posted by Angel_Mapper Dammit munk, how many times have I told you? First you get the skills, THEN you get the ego. It was cute a year ago, now you're just annoying. % And good cheer was spread to all... Granted, it takes longer to say: "Pardon me, my friend, but I am on YOUR team, so please, Good Sir, discontinue shooting at ME and you are currently shooting at YOUR OWN node, mate, which, unfortunately, CANNOT be charged up by your Manta's primary fire and my suggestion to you, if you'd like to listen, is that you consider linking to ME to charge our node rather than discharging your Link Gun's primary fire into MY BACK and would you be so kind as to please stop attempting to recharge the core while the other team is capturing our last node and to be honest, it's not very polite to camp the Raptor and if you'd like to be more successful, you should try not to get killed while flying the deemer and i don't mean to step on your toes as a fellow player I respect and enjoy playing with, but really, it's not cool to constantly and repeatedly call everyone b****es and m***** f*****s through your headset. Happy Holidays, my inexperienced friend!" Than it does to say: "Die n00b!" But in the end, isn't it worth the trouble? -- PR_Flak % Aurélie : je ne suis pas cruelle, je suis tendre comme un agneau. Aurélie : je suis chaste, pute et innocente Aurélie : PURE ! R ! bordel :/ % The orc zombie is hit by a rock! The orc zombie is destroyed! Idefix bites the orc zombie. The orc zombie misses Idefix.--More-- Idefix bites the orc zombie. % M@sterPhil : [...] A la base, le mot Forum provien du mot Agora, qui en grec sinifiait une place pour parler de toute chose dans la sociéter. [...] Xr : C'est évident, la racine est la même. Genre forum, ça viendrait peut etre bien de forum, en fait % "Le pirate est interdit par la loi", dixit Samchi ah bon, pas le piratage lui-même ? % Pictionnary ! Dessinez... Xr : Une appendicectomie Perfect Sim : La tristesse au soleil couchant dans les abîmes du Rohan % To an optimist the glass is half full. To a pessimist the glass is half empty. To a physicist the volume of liquid is half that of the total capacity of the container % Jay B : Can anyone tell me what PPH stands for ? zenpunk : points per hour TheDeacon : Public Panty Hammering. Jay B : What is Public Panty Hammering? (exuse my ignorance if you were being funny). zenpunk : well, the opposite of Private Panty Hammering, of course % BogoMips: trying to figure out why my scanner isn't installed BogoMips: AHH.. NOT PLUGGED IN TO THE COMPUTER HAHAH BogoMips: i wonder how i even manage to feed myself sometimes % Ever notice how straight guys, when making a "Hell, I'd fuck him" joke always say they'll do the fucking? They don't say "I'd take a shot in the eye from him" Like it's LESS gay to be the pitcher than the catcher % i'm so sick of fucking my father you mean i'm so sick of MY fucking father whatever makes you happy you conservative piece of shit % my cat is using the toilet methinks cool make a video with some close ups you'll make money I need to take a shower cool make a video with some close ups you'll make money % Sway21: dude frondz how do you type so fast Frondz: It's not something I'm proud of. Sway21: why's that Frondz: It's detrimental to masturbation. Sway21: .. guess i should stop asking so many questions % |CE|BeyonDeath : [quoting an image] who is she? Micro_Jugz : She is photoshop, take any decent looking girl, airbrush the crap out of their flaws and voila! Real woman don't look like this. senshu : Not to be rude, but your average woman isn't modeling lingerie, either. % Je ne sais pas ce qui est le plus effrayant, de perdre une arme atomique, ou que ce soit si fréquent qu'on ait déjà un terme pour ça. -- Broken Arrow % ShmengeTravel : Sometimes I use Winkey+L to switch users [...] [FnG] magnolia : I'm not sure you should be using your winky for any computer related matters % [20.59] --- TokTok définit le mode -m #gta [20.59] d [20.59] d [20.59] dd [20.59] d [20.59] ddd [20.59] --- TokTok définit le mode +m #gta [20.59] <-- badboy a kické iSfimx-- de #gta (flood) [20.59] lol synchro % Hunt for Bin Laden. Experts agree: Al Qaeda leader is dead or alive -- CNN % Zygar : Unplug it from the internet NOW, download AVG Antivirus Free Edition Pyrothekilla : I see a problem here % * Hawk boots up Windows It's like a million mac users cried out in pain and were suddenly silenced... lol wait.. make that 5000 mac users, let's be realistic % Matrix est en fait une metaphore du plus grand des combats : Linux contre Windows. L'univers réel est Linux: univers assemble de bric et de broc, pas tres clean, difficile d'y vivre mais au moins c'est gratuit. A l'inverse, la matrice est propre, clean, mais la vie a un cout, il faut y vivre en esclave et on n'y a aucun vrai choix. [...] % [...] L'immeuble ou est l'architecte ne vous rappelle-t-il pas l'immeuble de Microsoft ? A l'interieur se trouve celui qui a cree Windows/la matrice : Christophe Lambert. Non je deconne : Bill Gates. [...] % [...] Si les Sentinelles sont arretees par Neo, c'est parce qu'elles sont des programmes de Windows qui essayent d'interagir avec Linux, et que se passe-t-il dans ce cas la ? He bien elles plantent lamentablement... (Neo ne fait rien). Pour ceux qui repondront "mais pourquoi les sentinelles ne plantent pas quand elles attaquent d'autre agents de Zion", et ensuite qu'elles plantent aussi quand elles les attaquent, mais en faisant aussi planter la personne attaquee (la preuve : il y autant de sentinelles que d'habitants de Zion, car chaque sentinelle ne peut tuer qu'une personne avant de planter) [...] % aTourist : whats wrong with pubs? TheDeacon : The "1337" are too good for pubs I guess, because normal people who have had sex with more than the family pet come to play. We're referred to as "noobs" because we don't always have the reflexes that a trained Masterbateur like themselves do and thusly, we are shunned. % [Xr sort une pomme] Krunch : Encore ? T'as un pommier dans ton sac ou quoi ? % "CONKER...CONKER...CONKER, YES YOU BOY! YOU'RE DEAD! DEADER THAN A DODO! DEADER THAN A..uh...ohh I can't be arsed with this bloody contraption!!!" -- Conker's Bad Fur Day % Cortana: The message just repeats. Regret, Regret, Regret Miranda Keyes: Catchy, any idea what it means? Sergeant Johnson: Dear humanity, we Regret being alien bastards. We Regret coming to Earth. And we most definitely Regret that the corps just blew up our raggedy ass fleet! Marines: Hoo-Rah! -- Halo 2 % Forrest Gump: Hello. I'm Forrest, Forrest Gump. Recruit Officer: Nobody gives a hunky shit who you are, pus ball. You're not even a low-life, scum-sucking maggot. Get your ass on the bus, you're in the army now! % Toby on @#gayphonesex @#gaydads4sons @#gayteensex @#gayboysex @#gayteenboys ack! you dirtied my computer with /whois toby % eminem vs a terrorist organization weird heh Eminem_Vs_Al_Qaeda-BattleRap_12"-2002-RNS hahahaha % how you use TCp with an abacus? <%sluggo> TCP as in a TCP/IP stack? <@Amish> that would be a fancy abacus, indeed :) <%sluggo> that would be about as useful as half of the RFCs out there <%sluggo> like "wireless TCP/IP networking via carrier pigeons" <@Amish> yeah, B. F. Skinner was really pushing for that one % I remember tangie complained about only getting a $30 GC game for EASTER bitch Know what I got for easter? nothing not even chocolate or anything Well, at least I didn't get crucified unlike some suckers at easter % sleeping pills are for pussies No no no, you take these orally. % I'm $4 poorer, 1 bandanna richer and I still don't look like a pirate yarrrrrr, tis a sad day. % [Seen on bash.org] 17894 quotes approved; 17805 quotes pending % The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? % * ab is away - gone, if anyone talks in the next 25 minutes as me it's bm being an asshole - HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS % Hey, you know what sucks? vaccuums Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense? black holes Hey, you know what just isn't cool? lava? % oh man I was opening a coke, right --> Beefpile (~mbeefpile@cloaked.wi.rr.com) has joined #themacmind and it exploded ALMOST all over my keyboard but I got it away just in time <-- Beefpile has quit (sick fuckers) :< % It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"... spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest One of these...has a future. LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak? *** AgentSmith sets mode: +m % : If they only realized 90% of the overtime they pay me is only cause i like staying here playing with Kazaa when the bandwidth picks up after hours. : If any of my employees did that they'd be fired instantly. : Where u work? : I'm the CTO at LowerMyBills.com *** Ben174 (BenWright@TeraPro33-41.LowerMyBills.com) Quit (Leaving) % I gotta go. There's a dude next to me and he's watching me type, which is sort of starting to creep me out. Yes dude next to me, I mean you. % AFK, tornado % I was in biology class once, and the teacher said there was sugar in sperm And a girl asked why doesn't it taste sweet then When she realised what she said her face became red like a spanked monkey ass Then the teacher said, because you taste sweetness with the front of your tongue, not the part of your tongue back in your throat The girl started crying and left class ^^ % je vois pas tes smileys normal c'est juste des espaces % Martin : C'est quoi ça ? Temps moyen par seconde... -- Structure des ordinateurs, codage PCM % Hello krunch, welcome to SlashEM! You are a neutral male elven Barbarian. You are lucky! Full moon tonight. Idefix picks up 10 gold pieces. Idefix falls into a pit! Idefix is killed! % There is a whistle here, loot it ? [ynq] y You carefully open the candle... The key is empty. -- remember kids: violet fungus are not good for you % Coders never die, they just JMP without RET ! % Le monde se divise en 1 catégories. Ceux qui comptent à partir de zéro, et les autres. -- rixed dans un commentaire sur DLFP (#459292) % "machaussette.com" je crois *se retient de rire* La référence pour lachat de chaussettes homme online. Ma chaussette, c'est le site des chaussettes fil décosse de tradition. attention c'est en fil décosse de tradition [...] hop sur ce je va filer aussi (d'écosse) je sors MIMIduCHAT[Absent] est maintenant absent - Motif : parti filer des chaussettes d'écosse % j'ai un bleme avec ma souri la je sais aller de gauche sroite mais pas de haut en bas pivote la de 90° % caffine is much less deadly tho' not if you smoke it! % (@RyJones) new laptop? (lukehop^) No, it's my old one, just gradually turning it into a cow (@RyJones) yeah my exwife did that % You can have quit messages? I always try and rejoin real fast to read it but i always miss it Im getting closer % I've always had a hard time picturing hamsters in the wild. I get this mental image of a horde of them devouring a cow or something. % lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it haha mendo take a screen shot wait that made no sense % LEO (July 23 - Aug 22) Your determination and sense of humor will come to the fore. Your ability to laugh at adversity will be a blessing because you've got a day coming you wouldn't believe. As a matter of fact, if you can laugh at what happens to you today, you've got a sick sense of humor. % VIRGO (Aug 23 - Sept 22) You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nitpicking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers. % SCORPIO (Oct 23 - Nov 21) You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the pinnacle of success because of your total lack of ethics. Most Scorpio people are murdered. % CAPRICORN (Dec 23 - Jan 19) You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still for too long as they take root and become trees. % Q: How many IBM cpu's does it take to do a logical right shift? A: 33. 1 to hold the bits and 32 to push the register. % Q: How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb? A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility, of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A ...... consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks". % THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #12 -- LITHP This otherwise unremarkable language is distinguished by the absence of an "S" in its character set; users must substitute "TH". LITHP is said to be useful in protheththing lithtth. % THE LESSER-KNOWN PROGRAMMING LANGUAGES #17 -- SARTRE Named after the late existential philosopher, SARTRE is an extremely unstructured language. Statements in SARTRE have no purpose; they just are. Thus SARTRE programs are left to define their own functions. SARTRE programmers tend to be boring and depressed, and are no fun at parties. % Jone's Law: The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. % Yesterday upon the stair I met a man who wasn't there. He wasn't there again today -- I think he's from the CIA. % Q: Why did the tachyon cross the road? A: Because it was on the other side. % Finagle's Creed: Science is true. Don't be misled by facts. % And on the seventh day, He exited from append mode. % Exxodus: les 25 ans du pape, Exxodus: je lui donnais vachment plus % Everything done. Thank you for downloading a media file containing proprietary and patented technology. -- Dumping a WMV stream on mplayer % Smuk : [...] oui mais il faudrait implémenter equals... Michael : Pas besoin d'equals, suffit d'une méthode. Xr : Et equals, c'est quoi ? -- OOP % [...] il ne faut pas non plus devenir un extrémiste de l'orienté-objet -- P. Wolper, professeur d'OOP à l'ULg % La réponse s'affiche presqu'instantanément si le programme va vite. -- P. Wolper, professeur d'OOP à l'ULg % rah chuis deg ma soeur a installé les fontes japonaises de windows et maintenant elle sont partout! comment s'en débarasser? Un coup sec derrière la nuque. % putain, elle est bonne natacha st pier mais putain, son accent c'est un coup à débander au pieu "oh vi viens donc m'la mettre tabernacle" c clair que t'as un peu l'impression d'enculer roch voisine % * Chrisman has joined #cafzone * Chrisman_ has joined #cafzone putain, je suis tellement pas réveillé que j'ai lancé deux fois mirc * Chrisman_ has quit IRC ("http://www.chrisman-faces.net") * Chrisman has quit IRC ("http://www.chrisman-faces.net") % (RaHaN_) c'est nul le test de cyberdépendance : "1) J'allume mon ordinateur sitôt levé(e)." Je suis obligé de répondre "non", je l'éteins jamais % tain, le site copainsdavant.com ça me donne envie de déposer enculesdaujourdhui.com et connardsdedemain.com en prévision % pff en plus ca m'a desynchronisé mon raid, rahlala raid is dead % T'a vue la gonz ou pas ? Oui elle était là avec 4 de ses copines Alors ? Alors quoi ? Ben tu sais quoi Je sais quoi ? Non, laisse tomber. Dis t'as téléchargé le nouveau easy php ? % Chrisman : tu peux passer chez domina, me prendre une indian et des kickn chicken et venir jusque dans le 17eme stp ? Clem-Away : bien sûr, et puis je te chanterai du Diams en bermuda dans ta cuisine après Chrisman : si tu veux j'irai manger dans le salon % * @Ray[ILJ]`AwAy est de retour La raison était: { rangeage } Temps d'absence: { 133wks 5days 13hrs 47mins 46secs } % purée, j'ai rien foutu de ma journée encore continuons % j'ai un pixel mort en dehors de l'ecran % ben moi j'ai perdu 1-2 kgs * ATome has quit IRC et ta connection internet % TEH INTERNET: WHERE FUNNY SHIT BE FOUND *rarely % [Parlant d'appareils photo] Perfect-sim : Mais mon pied est chez mon frère Xr : Merde j'avais pas vu. Et ça va pour marcher ? Perfect-sim : Bof pas terrible mais je me débrouille % Didnt Ray Charles die right before [Ray] came out? That would suck if he never even got to see it. % Scud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you Scud: And then it hit me % stupid me put the square root of 50 as 25 instead of 7.1...... o.O Temporary retardation? i guess u can call it that.... >_> That would SO be a good card for a "Hax0r: Teh 1337 trading card game" Temporary Retardation: Target creature becomes AOLer % <@LZ|5133p> gonna have to rebuild my fish tank tomorrow <@LZ|5133p> getting a new filter <@LZ|5133p> and fish <+Toba> pkg_delete fish-tank-1.0.23b <+Toba> cd /usr/ports/fish/fish-tank-1.2.43c <+Toba> make all install clean -WITH_FILTER -WITH_FISH % /ctcp Bot doit passwd try it! okay -> [Bot] DOIT passwd msg #scripting I love babies I love babies -> [Bot] DOIT passwd /run shutdown -r -t 3 -c "byeeeee" ohhh * Vash has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer) * Bot has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer) % im never stopping for small animals crossing the road again i hit on the brakes and almost wrecked. the little bastard sits there and stares at me for a minute, then continues to cross the road and out of nowhere a truck comes from the other direction and pancakes the sucker % Dude, if the FBI ever came to my door Im just gonna put in my other harddrive and boot in ME Just so i look like a complete retard % I know that I'm supposed to respect my neighbors' culture because they're hispanic, but I wish that wifebeating was a little quieter. % Mjordan2nd: If you could be any fictional character, who would you be? Chris: Spider Man Tim: batman Sidd: batman Mjordan2nd: I'd be god % I got Fight Club for 6.98 at walmart. I am Jack's low price guarantee % The age old question: How do you pronounce ‘gib’? 78% G-style: ggggib 20% J-style: jjjjib 3% M-Style: I’m a mute. One of our readers, Linda, kindly provided some insight on this particular question. While the majority of our visitors definitely preferred “ggggib” (78%!), the 'correct' answer is in fact "jjjjib." In reality gibs is a shortened version of “giblets"—which, as Linda points out, are “those internal organs which we're probably most familiar seeing in a little bag inside a frozen turkey.” So, the next time you’re busy decapitating your friends in deathmatch be sure to scream out the correct pronunciation! -- A PlanetUnreal poll % This view is first recorded with the presocratic sophist Gorgias (c. 483-375 BC) who is quoted by Sextus Empiricus as having stated: 1. Nothing exists 2. Even if something exists, nothing can be known about it, and 3. Even if something could be known about it, knowledge about it can't be communicated to others ah now you know how sysadmins feel % wait a sec sister and friend want to talk lol no mercy 5ht :D :P --- CREMBELS is now known as Emilie yo lo cheese on a bellybutton lets go HELLO I see no difference with Crembels. Still senseless hello hello hello dfhj (Xr`) I see no difference with Crembels. Still senseless <-- ROFL % BU reports a much more improved AI for Envy. I can imagine... Player: "zoomj i got teh deemer 11" Bot: "STFU noob" lol lmao % How much will performance be boosted if you cluster three computers? depends what you want them to do afaik wont help with games :p I don't plan to game. I plan to...look up hentai -- #ina.ut % ... Marvo Ging Track 10 Surface to air Track 11 Pseudo Copy Protection Track 12 -- CDDB data for The Chemical Brothers - Push the button % visitez mon site :) 127.0.0.1 :(( % moi jve la chevre la vache aussi? le dj? le cd? Les deu la porte ? % alsa-init: no soundcards found: Succès -- Succès ? % cock google search for cock retured 196819810 results. Did you mean "clock" ? gg hahah % PS2: Whos your DADDY? X-BOX: You are!!! seemed funny when I read it :C <[FOG]Boksha> I bet it did :-/ % When i was first choosing my name i had a cjoice of 3 TheDoctor TheFaggot ThePreacher that makes 3 lol lol % koneko: I play unreal 2 and unreal tournament 2004.. in the pc.. and i want to know when or if will be release soon a new game the the pc? {BL}Berserker: Well, yes and no. You see, Epic has been bought by the Ocean Fish Group, makers of canned seafood products, who plans to use their technology to boost sales of fish after the recent mercury contamination scare, by creating games containing fish characters the kids can play as.. the name of this new series? Unreal Tunament, of course. This will contain much of the same gameplay as the Unreal Tournament we are familiar with, only it will be predominantly underwater scenarios, vehicles will be replaced with stuff like subs and motorboats.. the lightning gun becomes the electric eel gun... etc. % sueco: i asked a question Piglet: You didn't post a question. "Isnt so that they i play with and against shall hear it?" That's just a semi-random selection of words with a question mark at the end. % i cant connect to Qnet any more times through this IP :( since its logged me logging on and staying on 5 times proxy scan goes passed the BNC server and finds the IP is that why you got the big G? no someone using one of the game2xs bncs was doing something wrong so instead of bannin them, they G-Lined all 370 bnc servers fun stuff oh man, golden. % this will be the last time I will see you, if you manage to trace me somehow I will deny it is me <- dun dun dun Cythes: THIS LOG IS PWNING YOU RIGHT NOW LOL it won't do anything cat damn 3gb log ¬_¬ but it won't do shit O RLY [21:23:49] we shall see [21:24:06] he'll throw the 3GB of log in your face, that will be painful [21:24:07] * Catdaemon`[X] slaps Cythes around a bit with a 3gb log lol timing lol internet % HEY EURAKARTE INSULT RETORT COUNTER-RETORT QUESTIONING OF SEXUAL PREFERENCE SUGGESTION TO SHUT THE FUCK UP NOTATION THAT YOU CREATE A VACUUM RIPOSTE ADDON RIPOSTE COUNTER-RIPOSTE COUNTER-COUNTER RIPOSTE NONSENSICAL STATEMENT INVOLVING PLANKTON RESPONSE TO RANDOM STATEMENT AND THREAT TO BAN OPPOSING SIDES WORDS OF PRAISE FOR FISHFOOD ACKNOWLEDGEMENT AND ACCEPTENCE OF TERMS % ece que rockstar a un site de news http://www.rockstargames.com/ oui mais ya rien dessu ba tu t'attendais à quoi ? à avoir la météo, le journal, la bourse et un café chaud ? % AutoMessage: J'ai installé un détecteur de conversation avec mon camescope numérique, la prochaine fois que tu dis quelque chose, un mécanisme déclenchera un verrin qui poussera la chaise sur laquelle je me tiens sur le bout des pieds, provoquant ainsi sa chute et tendant la corde raccordée à mon cou. Ne fais pas ça, s'il te plait. % mdr j'comprennais pas que ma souris marchait pas j'avais les piles dans la main :\ % lol windows xp adverts on the tv WHATS THE POINT, EVERYONE ALREADY HAS WINDOWS % i remember the carnage of Steam 1.0 release <{JeeB}Vziper> i dont 2kb/sec download for steam compiled with CS1.6 <_Seer_> I remember hating steam with such terrible power that a nearby underground gas pipe exploded and killed 5000 people % MaxPower: The best way to improve your aim is to NOT aim. Just shoot in front of you. IGotARailgun: kinda hard not to... lol. That's like saying shoot where your crosshair is pointing. bharsell: He's actually right. All the good hitscanners I know don't aim, they just click. Virax: lol. Just lol. % [5:13pm]  coldplasma: nn <--going to bed a bit early, no? LOL YOU AMERICANS AND YOUR SLOW CLOCKS % lol i just realised...if someone WAS to send me a bill for all the music I downloaded.. it would be like 6 digits more like 2 digits... in years in jail * The5thviruz slaps everyone with everyone <[Ci-t]Slainchld> you would probly send an email back to them saying "lol gg" % I'm fuggin boared! boared ? you are becoming a forum ? no a ship crashed into him and they came aboard yarr % <`Xiphias`> something autographed by princess leia is worth 100$ mroe than something not <`Xiphias`> pro eh? well $ is pretty weak :P % ill probably end up marrying an extrovert kind of girl you'll probably end not married in stupid administrative job if not workless you know, economic recession and all that ;D wtf does marriage do Xr- has hit the spot % Eeep!!! I want a microwavable dildo. I'm sick of the cold plastic. % Xr: qui parle ? dieu, c'est toi ? -badboy-: mdr Xr: dis, j'ai un problème Xr: j'ai bouffe des fayots ce matin et dans une heure je vois ma copine Xr: tu sais pas faire quelque chose ? Xr: chuis pas convaincu Xr: satan il m'aurait deja aidé -badboy- a quitté la partie. -badboy- a rejoind la partie. -badboy-: merde gourre de touche mdr Xr: lol bravo bad Xr: dieu, jai une autre question Xr: j'ai un pote un peu con qui sais pas reconnaitre les touches. Tu sais faire quelque chose ? -badboy- a été kické. -badboy- a rejoind la partie. -badboy-: Dieu je te merde % vous utiliser quoi pour faire vos sreenshot? un stagiaire % C'etait vraiment petit ça... cmb cTb j'ai dit ctb!!! % je cherche un nom pour mon troll ké troll ? celui de wow, je suis en train de me refaire un perso Groumpf le Fougueux pas d'espaces Groumpf20%Le20%Fougueux ? % putain j'ai des msg du 22 juin sur mon repondeur ... "Avons débarqué en Normandie, attendons les ordres" % vous etes combien chez vous 102 ..... moi et les 101 dalmatiens .... pour de vrai je parle moi 102 bon bin vu que tu veux pas me parler franchement je vais te bloquer non pour de vrai on est 8 ... ok merci de me parler franchement moi et les 7 nains % (@yavin-) n'empeche vous avez remarqué ? le truc pour faire une putain de carrière c'est de s'appeler armstrong (@yavin-) louis, neil, lance, craig (@FaskZiK) yavin- > bah pas forcément... igor armstrong il a crevé comme une merde et personne sait qui c'est (@Caf_away) FaskZiK: ouais (@yavin-) FaskZiK, c'est qui ? (@FaskZiK) yavin- > ben tu vois % tiens comment on connait la version exacte de bind ? gare a ceux qui me repondent bind -v ou autre connerie bind -v autre connerie % Aujourd'hui je crois bien que j'ai évité un viol Wow balèze ta fait comment ? J'ai réussi à la convaincre finalement ^^ % (Neomatt) Je voudrais juste savoir, histoire de confirmer pour une amie : un PC qui boote 9 fois sur 10 en "Disk error", c'est 1) MAL 2) TRES MAL 3) VITE, BACKUP? (Chriscoma) 4) Une opportunité de sexe % everyone freeze, this is an irc stickup. don't move or i'll DoS ya. gimme all the voice don't hurt me, don't hurt me! *** ZorbaTHut sets mode: +v lordpil * lordpil runs away with the voice *** Parts: lordpil damn! he took our voice .... % omgsean123: so anyway, heisenberg is speeding down the street and he gets pulled over by a cop omgsean123: and the cop is like "do you know how fast you were going?" omgsean123: and he says "no, but i know exactly where i am!" % I was killed by a rabit in D&D once lol stupid DM did it have big sharp pointy teeth? \/\/\/\/\/ no! it didnt have squat.. I tripped over it and fell off a cliff % I hated going to weddings. All the grandmas would poke me saying "You're next". They stopped that when I started doing it to them at funerals. % lets see back 2 gta3 or back to studing which one considering your spelling, i'd say "studing" % http://rentmydaughter.com/ <---- WHHHAAATTTT TTTHHHEEE FFUUUCCCCKKK NO TURB JUST NO <[Ci]Slainchild> do they do overseas delivery? -- #ina.ut % oops i clicked the image :/ <-- LoggingBot est parti (G-lined) <-- Catdaemon` est parti (G-lined) -- #ina.ut % [11:57] (+fuegerstef_) sabo here...??? <--- wait a few mins/hours..he is almost always here [11:57] Sab0o (~rofl@84.12.174.193) joined #ina.ut. [11:57] hahaha % hum, efficace j'installe un programme pour libérer de la RAM et il ferme Windows % * chtimi40 has joined on peut trop facilement se faire virer sans comprendre * chtimi40 was kicked by Lagora (chtimi40) (sans vraie raison) :) c qui ca chitimi ? aucune idée réflexe % j'aime bien mickey 3d :x le tout c'est de pas trop écouter les paroles ni la musique <|Mksh|> ni le nom du groupe en gros, le tout est de dire qu'on aime bien qd il s'agit de draguer une pouffe qui écoute cette merde % i was hoping for a sort of odd fix where a switch could act as an adapter for more ethernet sockets... <-- exactly what i said ah "I currently have a 4 port switch (built into my Netgear DG834 Router), but I ran out of sockets, due to me not being the only person in the house requiring Internet and Network access. I have 2 computers, 1 laptop, and a wireless access point. My brother has a computer, and 2 xbox\'s, so I needed more ports." so yes it does work i don't see why it wouldn't yeah i was just wondering if i was making up some fantasy connection which was imposible in real life :D why do you suddenly change the conversation to your wannabe girlfriend ? that hurts man :) % The5thviruz: [shows an anti-smoking add : "Fags make girls ugly", "Smoking makes impotent"] Anonymous: haha i just saw this gay advert Oryan: Well fuck. Xr: Worst is for dickgirls, who become ugly *and* impotent. % ***SNES_ROMS*** Note: Nothing here is to be downloaded for any purpose. The following files are here here only to take up disk space, and to make the website appear to be larger and have more content. If something is downloaded from here, I will not be held responsible. Nothing here is to be distributed in any manner. % "Increase your performance by up to 80% with the AMD Athlon 64 X2 dual core processor." [...] looks like the spam i got this morning. only AMD Athlon was replaced by Cum Pill % Le golf, c'est avant tout se mettre derrière sa balle, estimer la distance, et choisir le bon club. Mmmm, ici, un pitch. [bouge jusque la balle] Ouh, elle était si loin... Bah, c'est pas grave, on fait tout avec un pitch [envoie la balle dans le green] -- Gérard aux Five Nations, trou 16 % cherche train 21h-21h30 no sv pv me nW|GiZ >>> www.sncf.fr % Double_M ca va devenir un geek tu va voir l'année prochaine avec son ADSL il va nous installer linux s'acheter un laptop c koi un geek? c'est mal parti :-/ % Les logiciels plantent car ils se basent sur la théorie qu'avec neuf femmes enceintes vous pouvez avoir un bébé en un mois. -- Wernher von Braun % Cours de C++: Prof: « Pourquoi elle s'appele dassault votre variable ? » Eleves: « Euh oui non rien, c'est un nom comme un autre... » Prof: « Faudrait voir a donner des noms plus explicites ! » Extrait de la source: void main() { char *dassault; -- Toi aussi fait des jeux de mots avec ton binôme % lo eth0 % < acid> toute facon je comprend rien a la vie ce matin < acid> j'ai l'impression de marcher a cote de mes pompes < Maxou> tant que vous allez dans la meme direction ca va quoi % <@Jul_> le mail de confirmation de paypal <@Jul_> il est mal formaté <@Jul_> et il y a une phrase qui donne : <@Jul_> Felicitations ! Vous venez de creer un compte PayPal. frauduleux. % <@Maxou> humm exim il met plus rien dans les logs la <@acid> regarde rejectlog ;) <@Maxou> ah putian le boulet <@Maxou> toi aussi plantes toi de machine ... % t'en as entendu parler où ? sur ton bouqin de telecom ce bouquin aura au moins servi à quelque chose ;D -- Krunch et Xr sur Jabber à propos de Little Gamers % Xr: pourquoi tu restes ? SmuK: parce que je dois y aller % Tout à fait. Mon mot de passe, c'est tout simplement le nom de mon chien. Mon chien, il s'appelle 23;{zk7W?p et il change de nom toutes les semaines. -- Uvoguine dans un commentaire sur DLFP (#483919) % - Où pouvons nous mettre ceci afin qu'ils ne fassent pas de mal à nos amis et à nos proches ? - Par la fenêtre, Sam, il n'y a que des étrangers, là dehors. *cling*, *boum* - Ouh là j'espère qu'il n'y avait personne dans ce bus - Personne que nous connaissons en tous cas -- Sam & Max % depuis la fin des exams, j'ai passé pratiquement tout mon temps entre slashdot, dlfp et des forums moi j'ai cherché un semblant de vie sociale avec plus ou moins de succès a non moi je suis pas retourné sur irc % Le 20 Juillet 1952 à 0 h, le Pentagone est survolé par des ovnis, repérés et enregistrés sur les échos radars de la base de Newcastle. Les objets volent à une vitesse variant de 160 à 480 km/h, accélérant brusquement à des vitesses phénoménales. des hirondelles, surement % [parlant de la Zone 51] ba comment ils font pour détecter satelite avec reconnaissance de mouvement et c est bon tk, quand une mouche se pose sur son bras, il coupe le bras avec une machette % --> Brezho (u7131431@macr-6B34CB54.ppp.tiscali.fr) a rejoint #unreal kikoo toujours à la bourre ces bretons lol tout le temps bourré c'est pour ca [...] <-- Brezho est parti (Ping timeout) il a confondu une paille et son cable ethernet y'a bien que les bretons pour boire leur bière à la paille aussi breeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez la bière ça se boit à la louche dans un tonneau y'a bien que les parisiens pour lire asterix mdr % Anonyme: Et tu est le petit copain de stéphanie ? Xr: non, c'est le grand à ma droite. Moi je tiens la chandelle... Je suis le chandelier suprème. Ah non, chancelier. % pitain, "dtc" dès le matin le matin a 14h ? ah il est 14h du matin ah ok % t'as un mot à dire à Stef ? j'lui envoie un texto j'hésite entre "tu crains" et "oublie pas le ratafia pour xr" demande lui le ratafia je pourrai toujours lui dire qu'il craint après % tu abite ou badboy ici et là quelle ville Iciela ok % <@MCL|wAnZerG> zik de merde <@bbm-OrliKa> non <@bbm-OrliKa> on di pas zik <@bbm-OrliKa> de merde <@bbm-OrliKa> on di <@bbm-OrliKa> jaime pas <@MCL|wAnZerG> jaime pas cette zik de merde % (FluP`afk) c'est joli les shuttles (usewriter) ouais, mais c'est chiant (usewriter) C'est un peu comme une femme (usewriter) C'est joli, ça chauffe mais c'est pénible quand ça veut pas faire ce dont tu as envie ! % ou fauche une marmotte et attache lui le message => ouais, ça s'appelle un sms speed marmotte system % Compiler sous Mac OS X, c'est une quête de Zelda. Tu récupères des objets partout, puis enfin tu peux entrer, battre le boss, et tu gagnes. % <`Xiphias`> >< <`Xiphias`> im so misunderstood <`Xiphias`> excuse me while i listen to linkin park -- #ina.ut % [Someone posts a fake death announcement in /b/] Anonymous: I understand, it's very disturbing news. I also could not believe it when my father got his head squashed by a 2 ton block of concrete. % d'ailleur ya pas juste égales parceque mid ne me banni pas, mimi si :) bah je suis sûr que mid doit pouvoir s'adapter si tu veux % Anonymous: /b/ is a wonderful reminder that god is dead and never coming back. % c'est un lapin qui s'appelle carotte. il s'est bouffe... ca marche avec pleins d'anmaux saucisse le chien wiskas le chat banane le singe smuk le cornichon % Task Type Bug Report Severity Critical Due in Version 0.11 It has become increasingly apparent that the most important feature for Psi's continuing success is the aquisition and subsequent implementation of the moon on a stick. This should be implemented through a meta-layer API/FID such that other galactic bodies can be loaded as plugins in the future. Possibly in the form of the increasingly popular key-chain USB devices. Remko Troncon (spike) : Dear user, While we are aware of this fact, we cannot resolve it for 0.11. This version will be concentrated on porting to Qt4, which will make it easier to provide the feature you ask for. Francisco Joaquín Rodríguez Prados (sabaoth) : Wow! That would rock. Could you please do the same with the Sun for 0.11? That is really what I have always wanted for Psi... Kevin Smith (kev) : That will have to wait for the plugins interface. Remko has added a dependency. Hal Rottenberg (halr9000) : Let's not limit the interface to this solar system. I'm partial to Orion's Belt. Remko Troncon (spike) : Dear Sir/Madam, Orion's belt is out of the scope of Psi, because of the Qt4 library we use. We limit ourselves to communication within the solar system, and try to do as well as we can on that. If you really need to reach orion's belt, please consider other clients. Francisco Joaquín Rodríguez Prados (sabaoth) : That would probably lead to memory leak, due to synchronisation problems. The consistency between the original galactic body and the replica stored in memory might get damaged, for Qt4 does not support light speed. Hal Rottenberg (halr9000) : YOU GUYS SUCK I HATE PSI WHY CANT YOU DO THIS IM NEVER USING PSI AGAIN!!!!111LOL Remko Troncon (spike) : Dear Mr. Hal, The name of our product is Psi, not PSI. hope this helps. -- Psi Bug Report % maintenant elle veut savoir qui j'aime et elle veut le savoir tout de suite [Sfimx discute pendant 5 à 10 minutes sur le pour et le contre] <[Kyofan]> le temps que tu te poses des questions elle aura oublié la sienne % <[Kyofan]> tu peux dire la vérité mais sur msn c'est pas super jouasse :/ oui, kyo a raison pour dire la vérité, je préfère jabber <[Kyofan]> ^^ pour mentir aussi, ceci dit mdr Xr % . pacman? le cerveau de pamela anderson? koi le vide dans le trou ah ben c'est pour y loger ma bite alors ^^ c bon ca que du bonheur :D exellent entre c seins aussi aussi yep tu c comment on fait pour rajouter des bagnole a gta ça c'était de l'entrée en matière dans le contexte xr ta phrase... rha... me suis fait avoir % fumé mon bouqin de scheme les vapeurs de parenthèses, c'est mal ça ronge le cerveau récursivement % j'ai trouvé un truc pas con pour pas payer les prunes ça marche que depuis le quinquennat donc, les hypothèses sont les suivantes : -à chaque élection présidentielles, il y a une amnistie des petits délits routiers, incluant les délits de stationnement non payé -il y a une élection présidentielle tous les 5 ans donc, pour le test, on va dire que tu te gares devant le garage des flics, tu devrais pas trop tarder à te prendre une amende de 35 euros tu rentres chez toi, tu la brûles tu reçois une lettre de rappel 2 mois plus tard elle est pas en recommandé => elle est pas censée être arrivée chez toi => tu la brûles 4 mois plus tard, tu reçois une autre lettre, toujours pas en recommandé => au feu 6 mois plus tard (donc ça fait déjà un an), tu te reçois une convocation au tribunal, en recommandé cette fois là, tu feins l'innocence, disant que tu n'as jamais entendu parler de cette amende, et qu'un petit con a dû te la piquer quand elle était sur tes essuie-glace. => on reprend la procédure à 0, j'ai testé le truc, les pv majorés repassent au prix initial avec ça. Là, t'as déjà gagné 1 an et 2 mois (rien que les intérêts ont déjà payé ton pv ^^) tu te reçois donc de nouvelles lettres de rappel au bout de 2 et 6 mois, que tu utilises pour alimenter ton feu (et au passage tu fais donc des économies) => 1 an et 10 mois puis, l'habituelle convocation au tribunal, que tu ignores, la procédure ayant lieu 2 mois plus tard, ça nous fait déjà 2 ans de passés. t'es absent du tribunal, donc t'es pas au courant qu'on t'a condamné à payer ton pv majoré 15 fois tu reçois le résultat du jugement, mais comme il est pas envoyé en recommandé, il va au feu 6 mois plus tard, tu reçois un rappel, toujours pas recommandé, donc au feu => 2 ans 6 mois 2 ans et 6 mois, c'est déjà 50% du pire des cas, à savoir le cas où tu te prends ta prune le lendemain des élections 6 mois plus tard, nouveau rappel, en recommandé cette fois, ça fait 3 ans tu l'ignores toujours, c'est-à-dire que tu payes pas un an plus tard, ça commence à chauffer sérieusement, menaces d'huissiers et tout ça, tu ignores et un an plus tard encore, ils mettent leur menace à exécution, ils amènent l'huissier chez toi manque de bol pour eux, ce jour là on a un nouveau président tu invites l'huissier à venir saisir ta télé et au moment de la saisir, il entend le nouveau président déclarer "et pour fêter ma victoire, j'amnistie tous les petits délits comme le défaut de paiement au stationnement ou les stationnements gênants". Si t'es beau joueur, tu offres quand même un verre à l'huissier. Certaines mauvaises langues vont jusqu'à dire qu'on a alors coûté 20 fois le prix du pv majoré à l'administration, mais comme dirait l'autre, à chacun sa merde. % j'ai trouvé miss monde lol en cette chere braisette ? midtownmad > la convaincre pour éviter un viole ? nop, moi c'est miss univers ^^ c'est miss bretagne ça braisette rohh, méchante va madounette encore oublié de prendre une photo d'ailleurs >-) moi jaurais dit, miss bar gai de la rue des trous de brest ^o) % The difference between perseverance and obstinacy is that one comes from a strong will, and the other from a strong won't. -- Henry Ward % hey hellow comment que ça va t'il bien ? ça va ça va imothep la famille ? imothep les amis ? imothep les cours ? nefertiti ah les cours ? imothep je préfère % 1981 : 1. Le prince Charles s’est marié 2. Liverpool a été champion d’Europe 3. Le Pape est décédé 2005 : 1. Le prince Charles s’est marié 2. Liverpool a été champion d’Europe 3. Le Pape est décédé -- Trouvé sur un blog % Pour les benés qui n'ont pas encore compris... l'adresse de votre compte free est... "votre login".free.fr Par exemple... giboulet.free.fr ET NON PAS login.free.fr!!!! A bon entendeur... Alph@x. -- http://login.free.fr/ % SELECT CustomerId, EmailAddress FROM Customers WHERE DATEPART(day, Birthdate) = DATEPART(day, Today() + 1) AND DATEPART(month, Birthdate) = DATEPART(month, Today() + 1) Anonymous: [...] it will miss anyone born on February 29 (you'd want to give them the coupon on either the 28th or March 1st). John Bigboote: Or, you could do what I do, and just treat them like lepers with no social standing whatsoever. -- Birthday on The Daily WTF % Stew: The article says "the query only ignores those born on the 29th in a non-leap year" and I thought to myself "nobody is born on the 29th in a non-leap year". I now realise the article should have said "the query, when run in a non-leap year, ignores those born on the 29th" -- Birthday on The Daily WTF % Anonymous: I love reinventing the wheel! Grimoire: Especially when you reinvent it square... -- Irregular Expressions in The Daily WTF % [after a custom parseFloat based on regexes] Mark: Cool. ".-." is a number. jkl;: so is 8-0 it's almost an emoticon sammybaby: The code in today's WTF will also interpret Morse Code as a valid Float. testFloat("...---...") // Returns true Volmarias: Silliest ascii art that can be validated by this code contest! I'll start with a bridge! .1----1. -- Irregular Expressions in The Daily WTF % new enforcers look kinda cool New enforcers look like TV remotes Well, sort of futuristic TV remotes Remind me of the zapper that came with the NES I bet you have a kickass TV funny you compare them with the NES gun when the new Revolution pad will actually be a remote control That IS pretty funny actually -- #ina.ut on Quakenet % Mark: I'm a bit puzzled why the first line of the address for each customer is the primary key in the Customer's Table ... Developer: I decided that was the most unique item for each entity Mark: So what happens when you get a customer that shares the same first line of the address? Developer: That generates an error - the user then rings me up and I generate the customer record. Mark: Ah - so you change the first line of the address, what to? Developer: Well, I prefix the line with a numerical value - indicating the duplication number. Mark: So ... a new customer with the address of "1 Main Street" would be changed to "2 1 Main Street"? Developer: Correct Owner: Does it? Developer: Er ... Yes. Owner: ... Owner: Well, that explains why most of our marketing and billing post is never delivered... -- Uniquely Addressing in The Daily WTF % DHL have hidden charges btw you know i orderd those FF sheet much books (he's speaking about hidden charges against you btw) they sent me a £20 shipping charge about 2 months after ill use ups then >_> THEY KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUPPER O: THE LAST SUPPER??!?! yes ! idd, stealing Raptor Jesus' wine and all that "Is this really the blood of Jesus? Man that guy must have been wasted 24/7" -- #ina.ut on Quakenet % emossh <-- Even MOre Secure Shell -- #ina.ut on Quakenet % anyone remember "hentai" or whatever he is calling himself now? Viruz-OSX> yes, why ? Viruz-OSX: yes oh um he said he was switching to gentoo and never came back i bet he is still configuring it -- #ina.ut on Quakenet % i think the filter for the log will be something like s/\d{8}\(\S*\)\ \(.*\)/<\1>\ \2/ i c. that made as much sense as a fried egg with a paperclip in it -- #ina.ut on Quakenet % Mac vs. PC security: it's like the guy who's just taken six bullets to the chest using his last breath to laugh at the guy with the papercut -- #ina.ut topic on Quakenet % Topic should be: "Mac vs. PC security: it's like being a fag ass bell end when you could just be using a PC" * Catdaemon` has changed the topic to: Apple vs Princess_Frosty, The battle continues -- #ina.ut on Quakenet % Help answer future Internet questions Please share your knowledge on Internet <`Xiphias`> one cannot be told.. what the itnernet is.. <`Xiphias`> one must see it for himself.. one must stop being fucking gay to understand internet <`Xiphias`> all aboard the mantrain> % Anonymous: My dog does that same ass-scooch technique when it needs to wipe it's ass outside Anonymous: i wouldnt fuck your dog though Anonymous: you obviously haven't met his dog then % NNS 4.0 Released! | http://www.nnscript.de | Yes that's right,; we have no other news. | oh and NNS 4.0 is gay too, you shouldent get it. | Basically our topic fails -- #ina.ut topic on Quakenet % tiens, je me la suis pas encore pêté * Xr a réussi son oral de crypto et à priori il a bien déchiré comme ça c'est fait :D [17:48] * Xr a réussi son oral de crypto et à priori il a bien déchifré y te manque un F mdr deux en fait -- #macreacity % The great thing about mod_rewrite is it gives you all the configurability and flexibility of Sendmail. The downside to mod_rewrite is that it gives you all the configurability and flexibility of Sendmail. -- Brian Behlendorf, Apache Group % Despite the tons of examples and docs, mod_rewrite is voodoo. Damned cool voodoo, but still voodoo. -- Brian Moore % Real men don't use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies. -- Linus Torvalds % Reading computer manuals without the hardware is as frustrating as reading sex manuals without the software. -- Arthur C Clarke % Computers are useless. They can only give you answers. -- Picasso % The best accelerator available for a Mac is one that causes it to go at 9.81 m/s². % If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens ? -- Seymore Cray, about clusters % Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25! -- Andrew Rutherford % There are 10 kinds of people in the world, those that understand trinary, those that don't, and those that confuse it with binary. % Save a tree — disband an ISO working group today. -- Jason Zions % This reminds me of a revelation I had a few years ago, after getting my first CD-ROM drive. I'd manage to misplace a CD containing a multimedia encyclopedia and eventually found it sitting on the floor under my desk. I realised then that never before in human history had it been possible to lose an entire 28 volume encyclopedia by dropping it behind a piece of furniture. Now that's what I call progress ! % Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. -- Rich Cook % The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim. -- Dijkstra % I mean, if 10 years from now, when you are doing something quick and dirty, you suddenly visualize that I am looking over your shoulders and say to yourself: 'Dijkstra would not have liked this', well that would be enough immortality for me. -- Dijkstra % unzip; strip; touch; finger; mount; fsck; more; yes; unmount; sleep % C is quirky, flawed, and an enormous success. -- Dennis M. Ritchie. % Unix is user-friendly. It's just very selective about who its friends are. % C++ : Where friends have access to your private members. -- Gavin Russell Baker % Consistently separating words by spaces became a general custom about the tenth century A.D., and lasted until about 1957, when FORTRAN abandoned the practice. -- Sun FORTRAN Reference Manual % In the future, airplanes will be flown by a dog and a pilot. And the dog's job will be to make sure that if the pilot tries to touch any of the buttons, the dog bites him. -- Scott Adams (author of Dilbert) % First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII - and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure. -- Douglas Adams % If you don't know where you want to go, we will make sure you get there. -- Microsoft slogan translated in Japanese % c'quoi c'timage ? ben, j'ai trouvé le perso sur deviant et j'ai rajouté un fond ^^ Khrass_sex0r_avatar____HL oui je sais pas où ils vont chercher les noms de leur créations sur deviantart wé les gens sont souvent inspirés le gars a pris un dico et l'a ouvert à des pages différentes au pif parce que bon ça m'étonnerait que ça soit le nom de jeune fille de sa mère -- #macreacity % The VARCHAR2 Type Seriously. Thank goodness they don't have power to name types outside of their database. I could just picture it, a String6 is just like a String4, but concatenates differently (like the now-obsolete String2 did). -- Alex P. - Why the I-Hate-Oracle Club? on the Daily WTF % SQWORD GetGlobalTime( const TCHAR* Filename ) { //return greenwich mean time as expressed in nanoseconds since the //creation of the universe. time is expressed in meters, so //divide by the speed of light to obtain seconds. assumes the //speed of light in a vacuum is constant. the file specified by //Filename is assumed to be in your reference frame, otherwise you //must transform the result by the path integral of the minkowski //metric tensor in order to obtain the correct result. return Time; } -- Daily WTF #58140 % Xr [bourré, essayant d'entrer dans la voiture de Sam]: Mais euh, le siège avance pas Gick: C'est une 5 portes... % Xr: Il est quelle heure ? [regarde le thermomètre] Houlà, 20 degrés -- La Kriek, c'est bon % Miss Wormwood: On est en cours de géographie ! Alors, dans quel état vis-tu ? Calvin: Le refus -- Calvin & Hobbes % Carter: Ca ne fait pas très professionnel, l'"Enterprise". O'Neil: Et Prométhée ? Qui voudrait voler à bord d'une tragédie grecque ? -- Stargate % 404 No evidence exists to suggest that this year even happened. The year you are looking for might have been removed, had its name changed, or is temporarily unavailable. Please try the following: If you attempted to visit the year in a time machine, make sure that it is spelled correctly. Open the Earth's Timeline, and then look for links to the information you want. Click the Back button to return to the current time period, then try another year. Click Search to look for the event on the Time-Space Continuum. -- Uncyclopedia Timeline (year 404) % Gé: Ouais ce radiateur, il sert à rien, ou alors juste pour les jours où il fait nuit. % BUGS The GNU folks, in general, abhor man pages, and create info documents instead. The maintainer of tar falls into this category. Thus this man page may not be complete, nor current, and was included in the Red Hat CVS tree because man is a great tool :). This man page was first taken from Debian Linux and has since been loving updated here. -- tar(1) % je cherche comment afficher < et > en latex genre \lt ca va pas \< non plus mais \leq oui ben < ça marche pas ? ;( si mais fallait le mettre entre $$ ptdr % Snails are slugs which can afford housing. -- Uncyclopedia % Notable Badgers Ronald Reagan: The current President of Iraq. He has so far been running the country very well, apart from an incident where he "accidentally" almost destroyed the world. The Right Badgers: The first badgers to fly an aeroplane. They also invented the aeroplane. The Wrong Badgers: They tried to create the plane but failed, so they invented the giant lollypop instead. -- Uncyclopedia % Trastencef Oat: Salut à tous, j'aimerais savoir qu'elle est en durée la musique la plus longue que vous connaissez ? badboy: Moi elle fait 30cm. Ar Brezhoneg: Mais elle dure que 20 secs! :p -- sur Macreators % mais en fait je cherchais Alone in the Dark, pas Silent Hill le jeu joue aussi sur le survival horror, mais le film était nul, on dirait connais pas Alone in the dark peut être de nom c'est tout je vais pas te filer un lien, je suppose que si t'es intéressé, tu trouveras bien google google c'est la porte de droite ou de gauche ? les deux google est partout toutes les portes mènent à google sauf peut-être dans la cave la cave, y'a yahoo et msn et dans la nursery, mozdex oui...d'ailleurs je connais pas ^^ ah si, de nom décidément, toutes les phrases mènent à Google aussi % Gé: nouveau, le lecteur DVD avec commande à distance intégrée. % Trip Code® : Japanese porn and you want an explaination for the background shit. You've gotta be an interior decorater % Anonymous : [pic of a girl with something shiny] ZETA SHINTANi : What. . . is on her chest? Sure doesn't look like oil, or cum, or. . . Anonymous : It looks like cellophane. I like my Asian women fresh, not prepackaged. % t'es difficile quand meme "j'ai les gouts les plus simples du monde, je me contente du meilleur" mais tu te tapes le pire Je sais pas, j'ai pas lu la biographie d'Oscar Wilde mais je regarde comment il est passé de la théorie à la pratique lol il a eu de l'argent il a fini en tôle et pd passons c'est ton avenir mon petit, c'est écrit dans le livre ^^ peut etre mais il est célèbre c'est pas comme john van bogart qui? bah tu vois pas célèbre lol % Ben: Y'a Ken le Survivant mais c'est un connard Xr: On s'en branle Ben: Hééé, pas dans ma voiture bordel % - On a essayé de vous joindre mais on est tombé sur un répondeur - C'est bizarre, il n'y a pas de répondeur à ce numéro. -- Quand les commerçants barratinent % javascript is the flat tire of the internet % Xr: Pff, pour calculer un déterminant, c'est facile : tu retournes la somme de tous les éléments et tu dis que c'est le déterminant. L'utilisateur ira quand même pas vérifier. % Krunch: Pour trier les éléments, j'utilise un tri aléatoire : tu mets tout dans un ordre aléatoire jusqu'à ce que ce soit trié. % qui ont super mario 64 ds personne MIMIduCHAT il est pas là badboy tes la c'est vide ici... non c'est mon répondeur qui te parle la c'est le répondeur oui. non je crois pas le répondeur me dit que si % "I would rather die than betray his trust" "That's not saying much, seeing as you're already dead," Ron observed. "Once again, you show all the sensitivity of a blunt axe," said Nearly Headless Nick in affronted tones. -- Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince % "My whole family are blood-traitors! That's as bad as Muggle-borns to Death Eaters!" "And they'd love to have me," said Harry sarcastically. "We'd be best pals if they didn't keep trying to do me in." -- Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince % Xr: Non, il est pas con... Smuk: Il doit être malin. Enfin j'espère, parce que vu sa tête il aurait vraiment rien pour lui. % Si hoc legere scis nimium eruditionis habes. -> If you can read this you're over educated. % Si vous faites un POP sur une liste vide, la machine prend feu et vous devez la rendre au constructeur, peu importe : on ne sait pas ce qui se passe. -- Prof. P-A De Marneffe % Xr : Le C, c'est un langage de ninja. % ma clé est dans mon home la clé est dans la maison, je répète, la clé est dans la maison chiffrer ses messages, c'est avant tout mal choisir ses mots % * +ramoth4 slaps politik with an unsigned long double * +politik comes back with a _uint64 uppercut * +ramoth4 pulls out a struct and returns fire * +politik corrupts ramoth's heap * +Fire_Elemental-Coding- ducks to avoid leaked memory * +politik pops Fire_Elemental-Coding- square in the stack * +ramoth4 stuffs politik's face in the bitbucket, and begins to operate on nil pointers * +politik throws uncatchable exceptions around the room * +ramoth4 dodges skillfully with his try-catch block * +politik cuts off ramoth's private member * +ramoth4 encapsulates the wound in a protected class * +politik destroys all foes with up-casts to inappropriate derived classes! * +politik is out of ideas * +politik :: ~politik(); * +ramoth4 declares flipcode his namespace! <+ramoth4> I win! * +ramoth4 beat C++. <+ramoth4> The last guy was hard. % [QUOTE][i]Originally posted by Bupkus [/i] [B]Too late. Actually, not so; I never did install UT2004 as I won't install the video card until I take this pc over to my nephew's house. However, now I'm looking about for a firewall. How much firewall is needed for a pc devoted to playing UT2004? [/B][/QUOTE] how much firewall lol depends on number of bricks you can afford, really ROFL xr i'm gonna post that % *** Krunch is Do not Disturb [Xr: le type qui surcommente autant qu'il surponctue. | Raph: le type qui aime la baston (mais uniquement en tant que spectateur/supporter) | SmuK: le type qui aime la régression | Krunch: l'alcoolique qui aime critiquer] "Krunch le type qui fait tout à moi..." j'ai corrigé les fautes que j'ai trouvé pas compris ta phrase là normal, il en manque la partie que t'as pas faite % [Un homme raconte une agression à la télé] "Et ils sont tous venus et ils m'ont ensorcelé" [L'homme mime des bras qui "encerclent"] % ah tiens le film rendait hommage aux 10 000 marins qui sont morts depuis 1623 (je crois) genre ya un gars qui les a compté plus ceux qui n'ont manqué à personne et ceux qui n'avaient pas le statut de marin (mais qui sont quand même morts) et en comptant les marins morts dans leur baignoire mdr comme un certain chanteur français dont je tairai le nom (qui n'avait pas le statut de marin, soit dit passant) d'ailleurs un célèbre chanteur américain a connu la même fin un type qui portait un nom de marque de cigarettes ah ? Gitanes mdr jim morrisson connais pas cette marque ^^ elle existe pas, je disais ça pour brouiller les pistes % mais lol un mail : "Bonjour Xavier, Je t'invite à participer à mon sondage anonyme pour m'aider à améliorer mon cours" [...] je réponds au sondage, en faisant quand même gaffe, et je reçois une confirmation : "Bonjour Xavier, Voici la confirmation que tu as complété le sondage - Sondage anonyme et que tes réponses ont été enregistrées. Merci d'avoir participé!" -- mmm, anonyme ? % ... trailers also normally employ a deep voice, that sounds like a seven foot tall man who has been smoking cigarettes since childhood. -- HHGTTG Movie trailer % [découpe d'une maquette pendant la nuit] Xr: Mmm, après 3 heures au Coca, on sent qu'il y a que du sucre là dedans. Gé: Dans du light ? % icssre en fait ça se prononce Ixaire a ok histoire que tu te manges pas la langue :p ca veu dir koi dérivé de mon prénom Jean :/ % Mon FAI est... Arnaud Boudou: [X] Nerim DeepYellow: [X] Easynet Alexis ROBERT: [X] IP over Pigeon Intercommunication Networking Solutions Management & Co Robin des Bulles: PAN! med: Paquet perdu. -- Sondage 134 sur DLFP % This media type UST NOT be used unless the sender knows that the recipient can arse it; the presence in a request of a Range header with ultiple byte- range specifiers from a 1.1 client implies that the lient can parse multipart/byteranges responses. -- noted by Filezilla dev, HTTP 1.1 RFC at http://www.w3.org/Protocols/rfc2616/rfc2616-sec4.html#sec4 % - Quelle est, en degrés Kelvin, la température de fusion du Cobalt ? - C'est quoi des degrés Kelvin ? - Le copain à Brlian. -- Cauet % muf pas facile de bosser devant les experts " je pense que vous êtes suspect" et le suspect "prouvez le" toujours les mêmes répliques c'est vrai mais faut les comprendre : [Générique de début, présentation du crime, arrestation d'un suspect] l'enquêteur : "je pense que vous êtes coupable" le suspect : "oui" [L'enquêteur descend les marches du palais de justice, l'air satisfait. Générique de fin] temps total : 5 minutes avec la pause pub (Becel cébon) % From Talk:-izzle This suffizzle-related articizzle is a stizzle. You can hizzle by expizzling it, fo-shizzle. -- Wikipedia deleted nonsense % From Socrates Rock Star Career After philosophizing for a while, Socrates decided that he was tired of constantly asking questions in response to other questions. Consequently, he decided to form his own rock group, the Socratic Four, which consisted of Aristotle on the drums, Plato on bass, Euclid on lead guitar, and Socrates himself on vocals. The group actually became very successful, touring Greece for about 2 years, and earning god-like status in Athens. At one point, there were plans for a huge mega-concert on Mount Olympus to celebrate the band. However, these plans were cut short when Plato abruptly left the band, citing philosophical differences with Socrates as the major reason for breakup. After the demise of the Socratic Four, Socrates continued to tour with a backup band, performing vocals for the Four's greatest hits. -- Wikipedia deleted nonsense % From The Very Hungry Caterpillar [...] The original title of the book was to have been A Week with Willi Worm, featuring a bookworm named Willi. However, Carle's editor advised that a green worm would not make a very likable protagonist. George W. Bush has expressed his fondness for the book, and there are rumours of the film rights having been sold for £1 million. [...] Further reading (and watching) for enjoyers of this book: * A day in the life of Ivan Denisovich by Alexander Solzhenitsyn * Ridley Scott's Alien * The picture of Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde -- Wikipedia deleted nonsense % From Camelot Camelot is the name of the stronghold of the legendary King Arthur, from which he fought many of the battles that made up his life. It was then ruled by Sir Mix-a-lot and had as its neighborhoods Whamalot, Spamalot, and Cumalot. Afterwards, Tawkerbot visited Camelot and Reverted-a-lot of the local vandalot. -- Wikipedia deleted nonsense % From Armageddon It was last week. You missed it. -- Wikipedia deleted nonsense % SmuK: Avec tout ce qu'il dit, tu te demandes s'il cherche pas un exploit dans ton cerveau pour faire un overflow. -- Trop bavard ? % Nothing succeeds like success, except of course for being an asshole, which seems to succeed pretty much by default. -- Anonymous on Success % Q: How many internet mail list subscribers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 1,331 1 to change the light bulb and to post to the mail list that the light bulb has been changed 14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the light bulb could have been changed differently. 7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs. 27 to point out spelling/grammar errors in posts about changing light bulbs. 53 to flame the spell checkers 156 to write to the list administrator complaining about the light bulb discussion and its inappropriateness to this mail list. 41 to correct spelling in the spelling/grammar flames. 109 to post that this list is not about light bulbs and to please take this email exchange to alt.lite.bulb 203 to demand that cross posting to alt.grammar, alt.spelling and alt.punctuation about changing light bulbs be stopped. 111 to defend the posting to this list saying that we all use light bulbs and therefore the posts **are** relevant to this mail list. 306 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this technique, and what brands are faulty. 27 to post URLs where one can see examples of different light bulbs 14 to post that the URLs were posted incorrectly, and to post corrected URLs. 3 to post about links they found from the URLs that are relevant to this list which makes light bulbs relevant to this list. 33 to concatenate all posts to date, then quote them including all headers and footers, and then add "Me Too." 12 to post to the list that they are unsubscribing because they cannot handle the light bulb controversey. 19 to quote the "Me Too's" to say, "Me Three." 4 to suggest that posters request the light bulb FAQ. 1 to propose new alt.change.lite.bulb newsgroup. 47 to say this is just what alt.physic.cold_fusion was meant for, leave it here. 143 votes for alt.lite.bulb % *** Xr is Away (free(xr);) If ptr is NULL, no operation is performed. % I saw a badger once. I swear it would've ripped my leg off. There's something... not natural about them. They just sit there and stare you down, and next thing you know everything's gotten taller, so you look down and BAM! No legs! You want to watch out for badgers. -- drunkwelshy from http://www.frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/ % Panpan: lui, il parle jamais Xr: Gick il râle ou il se tait Gick: mais je t'emmerde % Un type avec des dreads sur France 2 : J'ai le coeur qui bat à toute vitesse. Xr : Ouais ben profite de l'énergie pour te laver les cheveux. % Anonymous: INJECTION IS NOT YOUR FRIEND! Colin: Only when going through substance abuse rehabilitation! -- Daily WTF #87266, about SQL Injections % In Wales it's brilliant. I go to the pub and see everybody who I went to school with. And everybody goes "So what you doing now?" And I go, "Oh, I'm doing a film with Antonio Banderas and Anthony Hopkins." And they go, "Ooh, good." And that's it. -- Catherine Zeta-Jones % pierthi: Puré, c'est le truc qu'on apprend au primaire. Comme je l'ai vu plus d'une fois cette erreur, je me permet d'extra-dimensionner le rectum de quelques drosophiles, en signalant qu'on ne dit pas "Hors le protocole X est ..." mais "Or le protocole X est". ploum: si le libre avait autant de programmeurs que de grammairiens, ça ferait un bail qu'on aurait des bureaux 7Dimensions avec réalité virtuelle intégrée. -- DLFP, sujet #21379 % Sam: Les Russes vont nous laisser l'accès à leur matériel ? Daniel: [regarde les diplomates 5 secondes] Non. A moins de leur rendre l'Alaska... -- Stargate SG-1 % si je peux te donner un conseil si tu as un jour un perroquet ne l'installe pas a cote du micro onde apres il imite le bruit du four quand il a fini % A codec is a computer algorithm that is completely incapable of encoding or decoding audio or video data. Entomology Actually, I think Entomology is the study of insects... or maybe giant trees... Either way though, I'm pretty sure it's actually supposed to be Etymology. Okay, Etymology then The word "codec" is from the Latin codecius which means "to cause frustration and madness". The earliest known codecs, or codecii, were small metal flanges that were attached to the wheels of chariots, in order to make them difficult to control. -- http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Codec % Le sexe, par exemple, est une info purement binaire. Enfin, peut-être plus maintenant, je ne sais pas... -- Prof PA De Marneffe % Krunch: 1, il est premier et pas premier. Xr: C'est un nombre quantique % Prof: Est-ce que 1 est premier ? Pascal: On m'a dit que non. Prof: Et est-ce que ça correspond à votre définition ? Xr [à Krunch]: On m'a dit que oui ? % [Insistant sur la nécessité d'une valeur correspondant à l'élément inexistant (VOID) dans les enums] Quand vous vous inscrivez à l'unif, par exemple, on peut vous poser des questions dont vous ne connaissez pas la réponse. - Registre national ? - Sais pas. - Nombre de frères et soeurs ? - Sais pas. -- Prof PA De Marneffe % [en regardant un ls comprenant la phase vi d'un projet] Xr: Phase VI, c'est le nom d'un film Smuk: Cube aussi... Rien à voir. % that was 4 hours after all << * RzR|Vziper screws with Xr`'s brain hey, there's not much left of it, and I need that part to eat naaa you dont oh ok then please help yourself * RzR|Vziper feeds it to the gerbil wohoo, i took it out, and with no brain damage amage amage amage no brain to damage o_O why no yes err cause the computer days no o_O lies, i stole his megahurtz when i was drunk he stole it back when he was drunk how did you manage to get your computer drunk i fed it washing up liquid interesting its now lemony fresh and sparkles like its new ^_^ lawl i'll try that % Une manifestation [...] pour le refinancement de l'enseignement supérieur aura lieu le 19 décembre [...]. Rendez-vous à 10h30. -- Reçu un 19 décembre à 10h07 % $ tidy < cat_lite.c [...] Info: Document content looks like HTML 3.2 -- So I heard ANSI C looks like markup code % Xr: C'est plus Cassandre, c'est Paco Rabanne... % wouhouu ca marche 200 tâche sr la grille en 343 secondes euh ba super .x :x °x |x \x _x merde, le | est tombé lol /|x <-- génie civil ici, on met un contrefort _\x =x rha mais merde bref je suis joyeux je vois ca % ^N ça sauve des vi % Cristina "Lillo" Scabbia thanx and sends a kiss to: [...] my fish, Mr. Burns, Trunks, Sephiroth, David Hasselhoff. -- Lacuna Coil Thanks % <@The5thviruz> back in the day, america was looking like a good nation to live in <+Xr_> The5thviruz: no it never did <@The5thviruz> o rite <+joepjens> back in the days when we grew cotton and nigger slaves <+Xr_> lol grew nigger slaves <+joepjens> we had -- troll (not racist) on #ina.ut % j'dois gerer des pipes et des redirections pour vendredi c'est assez chaud wé c'est chaud les pipes t'en connais un bout hein la matière est assez vaste -- badboy code un petit shell % <@joepjens> I once made a stripper cry because I told her she had saggy tits. It wasn't my fault, her lap dancing abilities were unsatisfactory. <@joepjens> I didn't know she was only 20 and it was her first night. -- #ina.ut % "I am Bush sr. of Borg. You will be assimilated into a kinder, gentler Borg." "I am Homer simpson of Borg. You will be..... oooH! Doughnuts!" "I am Heisenborg. You will probably be assimilated." "I am Porky pig of Borg. You will be as-s-sim, as-s-sim, oh forget it". "Yoda of Borg am I. Futile is resistance. Assimilate you, I will." "Borg, James Borg. Vodka martini, gin is irrelevant." "I am dyslexia of Borg. Your ass will be laminated" "I am Scotty of Borg.I canna change the laws of Physics,ca'pin!Resistance is futile" "I am Doctor McCoy of Borg.Dammit,Jim.I'm a doctor not an assimilator!" -- From Wikipedia: Borgism % The factual accuracy of part of this article is disputed. The dispute is about Paris being a real actress or singer. Please see the relevant discussion on the talk page. -- From Wikipedia: Paris Hilton % This article documents a current event. Information may change rapidly as the event progresses. -- From Wikipedia: Your fly is open % This is your last warning. The next time you vandalise Wikipedia, you will be shot. -- From Wikipedia: Template:Uw-vandalism4 % Win·dows Noun. A thirty-two bit extension and graphical shell to a sixteen-bit patch to an eight-bit operating system originally coded for a four-bit microprocessor which was written by a two-bit company that can't stand one bit of competition. -- From Wikipedia: Microsoft % It remains to be seen whether any of these phrases will acquire any global meaning at all, but if they do, you will most certainly read about it here first, as wikipedia is the authority on this kind of thing, and is certainly the only encyclopedia in any position to track such absurdity given how fast it grows. -- From Wikipedia: All your base are belong to us % Alternative rock is the name given to one stone when you're looking at another stone. The term was coined by photographer Edwin Blastocyst when looking at one stone and speaking about another, oddly enough. The quote from Edwin Blastocyst needs to be verified. -- From Wikipedia: Alternative rock % Not to be confused with Jimbo Wales, or with whales, which are both considerably smaller than Wales and not Celtic, as far as we know. -- From Wikipedia: Wales % Cow Cake. Theoretically, a cake containing a cow. Some may suggest it to be a cow containing a cake, which is rather difficult to put into perspective. Indeed. Moo. -- From Wikipedia: Cow cake % Because the office and staff of the President are located in the White House, it is common to refer to the activities of that staff as being done "by the White House." For instance, a reporter might state that "the White House responded to questions by saying...." This should not be read as saying that the building itself made the statement. Rather, when the White House itself speaks it is usually with the voice of deceased President Ulysses S. Grant, whose spirit haunts the White House, occasionally possessing it to speak with the living or drip blood from the walls. -- From Wikipedia: White House % <+The5thviruz> A 17-year-old Minnesota woman in Oakdale, MN stands before a judge today to answer accusations that she murdered her newborn baby by stabbing it 135 times after it was born on the floor of a local laundry room. <+The5thviruz> how do you stab a baby 135 times!!?? 21:32 <+The5thviruz> surely ONCE is enough 21:32 <+BlackVice> where the hell do you stab 135 times 21:32 <+BlackVice> i mean...theres not enough space 21:32 <+Xr_> where do you find intact skin the 135th time ? 21:32 <+Xr_> lol 21:32 <+Xr_> timing <+The5thviruz> maybe she stabbed 67.5 times :/ <+The5thviruz> and it went all the way through the baby <+Xr_> sicko <+The5thviruz> :D <+BlackVice> LOL <+Xr_> why the fuck am i lmao :< -- #ina.ut % <@The5thviruz> in 3 years i'll be fluent in german :/ <+ColdPie> enjoi ur shit fetish <@The5thviruz> i will <@The5thviruz> along with my 50,000 starting wage ! <@The5thviruz> I HOPE D: <+ColdPie> for what <@The5thviruz> scat porn movies <+Xr_> *gay scat porn <@The5thviruz> is there any other kind? <+Xr_> how would I know <+Xr_> fag <@The5thviruz> ;_; <+ColdPie> lol well played Xr_ -- #ina.ut % <+Xr_> I'm so going to buy domain names with a cp connotation and redirect them to the fbi <+joepjens> i would fuck a child molester up irl <+Xr_> joepjens: I'd rather beat him but yeah, I get your point <+joepjens> :< -- #ina.ut % <+Sab0o> "It sickens me that people are turning this joke into a tragedy. How can those students live with themselves?" <+Sab0o> oh wait... they cant! <@Turbchan> saw it coming and still lol'd -- #ina.ut about Vtec % If you had a chance, right now, to go back in time and stop Hitler, wouldn't you do it? I mean, I personally wouldn't stop him, because I think he was awesome, but you would right? -- Eric Cartman, Make Love, not Warcraft % Mon premier est un mammifère à queue plate qui ne peut pas s'asseoir. Mon second est un mammifère à queue plate qui ne peut pas s'asseoir. Mon troisième est un mammifère à queue plate qui ne peut pas s'asseoir. Mon tout est un nombre irrationnel... PI par ce que PI = 3 castors sans chaises. % is there anything more fucking irritating than sluts who put shit like 'lol ye were gonna have sex 2nite' in their screennames niggers who put song lyrics in there nigger music lyrics WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD WHERE THE HOOD AT seriously, its fucking irritating as shit she's a whore as well, so that makes it all the more annoying STOP LOOKING i can't help it personal messages are dumb too but the more i look, the more i get pissed off like "thank for that hat it really fits my dog" -- #ina.ut % The light at the end of the tunnel is a train. % Consider these... GalaxoSmithKline own everything not owned by Johnson & Johnson. Coca Cola own everything not owned by Pepsi Co. General Motors own everything not owned by Ford. and AOL Time Warner just own everything. And it might all by paid for by JP Morgan Chase. It's a simple world view I know, but sometimes I just get the feeling there are only two or three really wealthy people in the world and they're secretly funding a space-program that involves the Millennium Dome and - in some indefinable way - Ikea. -- Lem from http://www.frozenreality.co.uk/comic/bunny/ on 2007-10-07 % Approximately 70,000 dogs and cats are born in the U.S. each day, or 25,567,500 each year. Of these, roughly 54%, or 13,806,450, are cats. Since 34.5% of cats don't live to see their first birthday, we can assume that about 4,763,225 kittens die each year in the United States alone. We'll take for granted that God in His divine Wisdom purposely smote each of these kittens. Let's assume that the idiom is talking only about male masturbation. Let's further assume, highly conservatively, that males do not start masturbating until they reach age 15. Of the total U.S. male population, 107,199,356 would then be masturbation-age males. Again, let's conservatively estimate that teenagers masturbate no more frequently than adults, and that all men masturbate an average of 20 times each month or 240 times per year. This means that each man in the United States masturbates approximately every 1.5 days. It also means that there are approximately 25,727,845,440 male masturbation sessions in the United States each year. There are nearly 26 billion male masturbation sessions in the U.S., yet there are fewer than five million kitten deaths annually. Far from a one-to-one correlation, there are 5401.5 masturbation sessions for every single kitten death. This means that the average American man can masturbate regularly for 22.5 years before he is responsible for the death of a single kitten. Indeed, with a life expectancy of less than 75 years, the average man will be responsible for only two or three kitten deaths in a lifetime of vigorous masturbation. -- Turbidity on #ina.ut (source unknown) % moo spelled backwards is moo no wait -- bash.org #5543 % you know what sucks I was staring at this girls ass in the mall while waiting in line she was by a trash can and this guy was behind me said "Get a good view?" i was laughing and said "yeah" he goes "That's my daughter" -- bash.org #32659 % ever notice, that like half the quotes on bash seem to be plucked out of conversations specifically designed to produce quotes to submit to bash? i LOVE the cock -- bash.org #81967 % <^Spike^> I just realised <^Spike^> These new coke cans have 'REVOLUTION!!!' written on them. <^Spike^> DAMN COMMUNIST SOFT DRINK <^Spike^> It also has 'You know you Want it' written on it. <^Spike^> That's a whole lot creepier. <^Spike^> So my can is a communist and a rapist. -- bash.org #82192 % CNN is reporting that Lance Armstrong may be stripped of his 6th Tour de France title. In a random check for banned substances, three were found in Armstrong's hotel room. The substances banned by the French that were found in his hotel room were as follows: (1) Toothpaste, (2) Deodorant, (3) Soap The French officials also found several other items which they had never seen before, including a testicle and a backbone... Earlier reports that French Government officials attempted to surrender to Armstrong as he entered Paris were apparently erroneous. -- bash.org #386538 % We vegetarians love the environment. carnivores are sick freaks. How can vegetarians possibly love the environment.. you keep eating all the fucking plants -- bash.org #426527 % nurv3947: So, I was talking to one of my friends, and she's kinda fat, right? nurv3947: And this woman walks up to us, looks at my friend and asks "Are you pregnant?" nurv3947: And she says "Yes, I got gang raped by twelve donuts." nurv3947: Honestly, I almost died. nurv3947: I just turned and walked away. nurv3947: I couldn't even walk straight. -- bash.org #572797 % Alright, so this hermaphrodite walks into a bar.. go fuck urself Oh, so you've heard this one before.. -- bash.org #672706 % CNN - Three teenagers beat a mentally retarded man to death. $5 says they blame it on video games Yeah we all know that popular game where you kill retards (/sarcasm) You've obviously never played counterstrike then. -- bash.org #87369 % culturejammer: you know what pennies are AWESOME for? culturejammer: throwing at cats culturejammer: it only costs a single penny culturejammer: and they'll either chase it, or get hit by it and look pissed off culturejammer: i now use that system to value prices of things culturejammer: for example, a thirty dollar game has to be at least as awesome as three thousand catpennies -- bash.org #743428 % *** Now talking in #christian -Word_of_God- Welcome Abstruse to #christian I am a Bible Bot. For more info type: /msg Word_of_God !info !kjv numbers 22:21 Numbers 22:21 -- And Balaam rose up in the morning, and saddled his ass, and went with the princes of Moab. - (KJV) *** SageRider sets mode: +b *!*@c211-30-208-111.rivrw3.nsw.optusnet.com.au *** Word_of_God was kicked from #christian by SageRider (Please dont Swear) I know I'm never going to be able to come back in this channel again after this, but damn was it worth it to see that... % Sondage DLFP #157 : Pour 2008 vous attendez surtout... Grégory Schmitt: Un boulot, un travail, un taf, un... enfin, vous voyez... Sufflope: Une copine ? Acheumeuneu: Mieux ! GNU/Hurd 1.0 ! Tangrim: GNU/Hurd 1.0 sortira en même temps que Duke Nukem Forever :) Damien Aristodemo: C'est la copine qui l'installera ? % Xr: Le gars dans 5 minutes il te transforme son parapluie en katana et il tue tout le monde. % [...] et Westerloo joue dans son rectangle, voire... dans son rectangle. -- Commentaire d'un match de foot sur Belgacom TV % - Ha ha et il se souvenait plus du "super". - C'est quoi le "super" ? - C'est comme le "retourne". - Ha le naze ! -- Entendu dans un bus, l'OO pour les nuls % So Mailinator solves the Spam problem? Heck no. If it solved the spam problem it would probably be called IBMinator or MICROSOFTinator or something even catchier cuz we would have sold it and we'd be zillionaires off pursuing our real dream of helping nice people like Dr. Bahutu of Nigeria who keeps emailing us asking for our help transferring some funds. -- Mailinator FAQ % Lio: Non mais tu vas pas acheter un kilo de foie gras et mordre dedans comme dans une pomme. % Lio: Elle est chaude comme une barraque à frites. Xr: Les huiles viennent d'être changées. Julien: Et pourtant on fait pas ça souvent. %